Guilty as charged. (Part 1)

“You’ve never experienced what a roller coaster ride is?”
“Uh-No.”
“No, sir.” He corrected. “Not even travelled through a plane you say?”
“Sir no, sir.”
“This is gonna be fun.” Then Kane turned his back & everyone laughed. 

**

‘That’s where it started?’ She asks me. The noise of her pen running against the paper is audible even when she’s across the room, sitting in front of me. There’s a scar on her index finger, probably a burn. By the look of it, one can wager it is old- Yes, a good decade or so.

‘Are you with me, Mr. Heinz?’ The name makes me recoil.
‘Call me Diablo, please. I hate those 5 letters together. H-E-I-N-Z!’ It’s rude! No, I should apologize.
‘Sorry.’ I whisper & chew on the dead skin near my nail.
‘It’s okay, Diablo. Let this be. I’m bored, you want to play?’ She points her gaze towards my gaming console. I feel my cheeks redden. No one has ever been to my house since I’ve started working at the grocery store. The pay isn’t best, but I could at least afford the rent this apartment. Living on their own isn’t easy for a

‘Is it okay if we play-‘
‘Yes.’ I jump to my feet, remove the second remote control from the sealed packing. Never had anyone to play, not once.

‘Are you going to charge my parents for this too, Dr. Zhang? I’ve heard your fees are high.’ She’s looking at me with a tilted head.
‘Oh no, no I won’t. I’m paid for consulting my patients, Diablo. This would be free.’ She gives a warm smile & sits beside me.

‘What games do you have?’
‘Name one.’ I gloat.
‘FIFA?’ She says after a pause.
‘Saw that coming.’ I laugh & switch the TV on. ‘Have you heard of any other games?’
‘No.’ She admits & opens the top button of her shirt. I notice another scar, similar to the burn on her finger. I involuntarily pull the sleeve down my right hand.

‘So, how long have you been living here?’ She asks after losing for the second time.
‘Would it concern my treatment?’ I frown at her. Her sweet tone unaffected, ‘We’re not a doctor-patient for now, Diablo. Anyway, I need something to drink.’

I return with a bottle & take my seat.
‘Another round of losing to me?’
‘Since how long are you living here?’ She asks, again.
‘Only a year ago.’

She looks around my one bedroom-kitchen house, tidy is something my house would never be. The curtains are drawn, blocking out the afternoon summer sun. On my balcony I can hear pigeons, they always keep coming back to lay eggs. They’re the only company I have.

‘It’s a great place.’
‘Who are you kidding?’ I hate fake people.
‘I wasn’t lying, you know. Well let’s start from where we left.’

Ugh! Should had seen this coming. I want to scream at her, but the sharp steely eyes of her blunt face seem to possibly penetrate my thoughts. I feel naked, but from how much I’ve known her since the last hour I’m sure she’ll wait for me to speak out even if she could read it. And I decide to spill it out, afterall that’s the reason why my parents have sent her here.

‘You want to know? Okay. What I told you about Kane was a lie. There was no person called Kane in my high school, nor in my life. I lied to you because-‘ Think. Fast. Or else she won’t believe me.

‘Because that’s what I do. Lie to everyone, about everything. Didn’t my parents tell you? Or did they just say “Go fix our mentally ill son.”‘

‘Calm down, Diablo. You’re not mentally ill. No one says that. But your lack of socialization is their concern. They’re worried for you.’ Her palm is rubbing mine, human touch is a funny concept. But I like it. When was the last time I touched someone? Or even talked for more than 10 minutes? Maybe I should tell her. Her touch is calming me down, the way ice melts.

‘Okay. What I told you before is what happened to me because of the first day of high school. I was all excited to start, just like everyone else. But it was me, the unluckiest person to bump into Kane’s girlfriend in the hallway. It wasn’t even my fault. It wasn’t even hers. I said sorry, she did too. Then he came & saw her helping me pick my stuff. That’s where it all went wrong. When I was in the cafeteria, Kane & other seniors sat on my table. I thought they’ll wanna be- friends.’ It’s difficult to even pronounce the word, now. ‘So we were sitting together for a minute now & no one talked. So I decided to try to be an extrovert. I said, “Hey. Are you guys in my year?” And then Kane smashed his hand on the table. Everybody looked at us. Like a cobra he circled me & said, “I’m in senior year. I’m the guy whose girlfriend you bumped into this morning. I’m the guy who’s going to ruin your year.” I watched a few students walk away, as if they knew what will happen. But many others looked up. Nothing attracts humans more than tragedies. Nothing.’ I look at her to check if she’s listening, she gives a slight nod so I continue.
‘Then he asks me where I am from. But I say that I apologized to his girlfriend, I can apologize to him, too. I don’t want trouble. I didn’t. He started laughing, like a maniac. Then he said he was just scaring me & then everyone else gave disappointed sighs. He said it’s all cool & I can go. Funny how he came to my seat but told me to go. I didn’t argue though. Also, I completed my lunch. So I left.’ I realize I’ve been talking too long but Dr. Zhang is listening to me & I feel good, somehow.

‘It was the next day itself, that I knew he wasn’t joking with me. I saw posters on walls, edited photos of my face on the body of a baby. Below it printed in bold “HEINZ NEEDS WALKING GUIDELINES” It was helluva embarrassing, I took down the few I could but they were everywhere. I felt terrified. In every class I went students looked at me, recognizing me as the guy from the posters. Little did I know it was only the start. Day by day they kept passively torturing me. Once, my bike was missing a whole tyre. I complained to the faculties, increasing security around the parking lot was all they did. Then came this day, I was sitting in the cafeteria, alone. No one talked to me for all the 7 months of school, since jokes were being played on me. They’ll be embarrassed to be seen with me. Worst case scenario, they’ll be in trouble. When I was half way done, Kane sat next to me. He said he’s heard that I’m afraid of heights. I said no. So he screamed that I’m lying, and I shouldn’t. I timidly looked around, they were shooting us & I knew it’s serious trouble. Then he asked me have I went to a roller coaster or an aeroplane or dived from the high dive-board. When I disagreed he took me by my collar, dragged me all the way in his sedan. I didn’t know the name of those who were holding me while he drove to his home. In the car, they stripped me. Drew some things on my body that I couldn’t see yet. Tied a ribbon around my crotch & painted my face. When we reached his home, a huge mansion. They pulled me out, a guy was shooting me. I was stark naked only the ribbon on me covered whatever it could. There were black stains all over my body, but I still couldn’t see what they’ve done. I screamed for help but there wasn’t anyone. We came in the backyard and I swear I had a panic attack. There was swimming pool with a diving board. As high as 2 storeys. My legs turned lead. They still dragged me to the top. I was sticking to the board afraid to fall. Then he brought a dog. Tied him to the railing, blocking my way down. All of them were shooting me. Screaming “Jump!” I tried running down but the dog bit me.

“STAY STIFF AND JUMP OFF, HEINZ!” Kane screamed but that’s not what I did. I slipped while escaping another bite from his dog. I fell straight, luckily. It took me forever to hit the water. I was hospitalized, the water rubbed the stains off my body. I had a scar on my forearm. I was terrified, shook till the weak heart of mine. They told the doctors that we were partying when his dog accidentally bit me and I slipped in the pool & passed out. I stayed home for the next 2 weeks. My parents believed them, I didn’t tell anyone what the truth was. They uploaded the video, blurred my face, it went viral. What a bummer, didn’t I say humans are most attracted by tragedies? When I was home, I plotted revenge. Something painful, more painful than what I faced. Something they won’t get away with. Against all the three of them, I plotted revenge.’ I say with a triumph smile.

‘And did you have your revenge, Diablo?’ She asks, her tone even.

I laugh. ‘Kane died 6 months ago. Jumped off a building.’

_________

End of part one.


Read what happens next at:

Guilty as charged.(Part 2)

Guilty as charged.(Part 3)

Guilty as Charged.(The Final Part)


©The Honest Fabler

©Cover credits- Google Images

To her, with love.

How I wonder you were a stranger once,
Just another pretty face amidst the rush.
But then you became my rumination,
To defend me from the demons in my mind.
You turned into an ally,
And stepped in my fight against the world.
Who knew an imagination of sorts could be my macrocosm.
Who knew you’d ever be real, real enough that I’d make you my muse.
Your soul is mine and mine is yours,
The body never matters cause you’re my thought.


 ©The Honest Fabler

©Cover credits- Google Images

Purging the past.

‘Come on, Hugo! Can’t you swim faster?’ I scream over the resting waves splashing on my face.
‘I’ve had supper—an hour ago, Allaire.’ He manages to speak spilling water out of his mouth.
‘We’re almost there.’ I state & continue swimming. A little lackadaisically, though, as it has turned quite dark since we’ve reached within the mountain’s shadow.

Finally getting out of the river, he collapses on a rock covered with weeds. I still can’t believe this is happening for real.
‘Are you okay?’ I kneel next to his shivering body and start rubbing his palms.
‘I’m glad you told me that we’re going to leave our boat on its own before jumping off in the water. Oh wait, you didn’t tell me, did you?’ I laugh and take his sarcasm as a sign of being normal.

‘Up on your feet, my love.’ Dusting off the weeds from his jeans he stands and looks around. Finally, someone other than me has seen it. My wonderland. 
‘What is this place?’ His hollow voice repeats the question rebounded from the walls enclosing us. ‘Shush.’ I run my finger over his wet lips.
‘You know what it is.’ He’s stopped listening to me, mesmerized by the beauty in front of him. Running fingers over the cool stony walls, stepping on the damp ground below, barefooted & the perfect hum of river running towards the sea. There are a few vines climbing around but our small bed is as clean as I left it after yesterday’s visit. It’s not fair to call it a bed but a bundle of 6 blankets was all I could bring in the plastic bags. Yesterday when I came here I brought all the resources, too. Now my cave is habitable.

‘Is this where you hid—’ His voice cuts off realizing the truth. I hurry towards the bed and ignite the makeshift bonfire, he sits opposite to me after taking off his wet clothes.
‘You want to catch a cold, don’t you?’ He nods towards me and I feel embarrassed to feel warm, to take off my dress. He’s seen your cave, that’s as good as seeing you naked, Allaire.
I know my cheeks have turned red because Hugo is laughing as he sits beside me and covers me with the only blanket that I’ve not used in thickening our bed.

‘Don’t be a gentleman, come in.’ I open the blanket and take him in, my cold skin rubbing against his. He puts an arm around me & it all comes back to me.

9 years ago Lisieux wasn’t like it is now. My mother brought me here.  “It’s safe here, teddykins. No one will find you. It’s all the food you have for indefinite days, until you hear everything is calm you’re not going to get out of here.” 6th June 1944, was the day when I last saw her. Leaving me in this cave she went back to find my sister but never returned. The D-Day of Normandy destroyed two thirds of my town. My home. My family. Everything I ever had. I wonder if I wasn’t in this cave for 3 days could I ever survive the bombings. When I left the cave, some militants took me in and left me in a Children’s home in the safer part of France. It is still unpleasant to imagine my city after the bombings. The buildings brought down to dust, nothing but trash which would be cleared when they rebuild it. People who I knew, now lying lifeless beside each other. They never found my family. I was worried what might had turned of them, but I like to think that they fled the war zone to somewhere safe. Like me.

I must’ve been lost for a long time since Hugo is asking me if I want to sleep. I shake my head and look at his strawberry shaped face, the bonfire sparkling in his eyes turn his green iris into orange. I met him when 9 years ago, he was brought from Saint-Nazaire which was completely destroyed. We didn’t fall in love until last year, though. But it’s perfect having someone who doesn’t show sympathy after knowing my past, rather understands it.
He’s picking me up in his strong arms, I’m too tired to reject his ride. Holding onto his neck, he carefully places me on the bed. He turns around but I hold on to his wrist.

‘Don’t go.’ I whisper and he gives me a wolfish smile. As he lies beside me, my energy returns. I climb on him and bite his lips, he doesn’t object. His hand is now stroking my bare back, making it’s way down to my hips. Our feet are entwined in each other. Kissing me still, his rough hands fondle gently around my breasts and I suddenly feel colder than I did after coming out of water. He turns me on my back and I breathe in his fragrance mixed with the smell of my city where we traveled around all day, today. He kisses my cheek and whispers, ‘You’re safe with me.’

Little does he know, how pure he has made my safest place with his presence. He slides down, tickling my body with his lips sending tremors with every touch and I feel him inside me. The cold has vanished, now replaced my the warmth radiated by us.

We’re both sweating when he spoons me, facing the dying bonfire. Tomorrow, I know when I’ll get out there wouldn’t be ashes of my home and the faces of my dead neighbors but a bright start of my life with the man who loves me the most.


©The Honest Fabler

©Cover Credits- Google Images.

The beggared billionaire.

“I want that balloon, pappy.” I hear her clamorous voice across the garden. I’ve heard it somewhere before. She’s pulling a man, with slothlike pace and an arched back, behind her. With a ragged smile he buys the balloon and gives it to her, bending with great efforts.

“Old man.” I snigger. Resuming on my way, I glance at my reflection on a car window. Ironically, my face looks much older than her Grandpa. Atleast he has his grandchild. I give a sad nod & sit on the edge of a bench obscured from the bright sunlight due to the untrimmed bushes. My daily spot to spend time with myself.

I wasn’t always so alone. Even I had a family family, even the word makes me ache.

Let’s focus on the brighter part of my life, shall we? I brought up my father’s business, turned it into an empire. An empire the world would remember for ages, but will I? I’ve never had much of a competition, humans are too naïve. It only took me a blink of an eye to understand business. Yes, that’s an exaggeration, but what do you care? I’ve been the richest man of my nation & I still am.

Then why am I sitting alone talking to myself, you’d wonder. It’s because I’ve lost my greatest wealth. Something that the digits on my bank account can’t buy, never.

I still wonder, though, who shall I blame? For I’ve done everything to keep my family together. Bought an enormous mansion  for my 4 children and their kids to live happily.

Their kids, yes, they’re the ones liable for the destruction! They’ve ruined everything.

Funny how those spoilt new generation teenagers caused me such pain. I loved them as much that girl’s grandpa loves her. I’ve seen the two of them somewhere before, maybe they know me from the newspapers. Now the grandpa is chatting with his croonies while she is playing with her friends.

The annoying birds are starting to chirp in a higher tone. If I block it out, as always, I’ll find my peace. The St. Maedhog’s garden has been my haven since the time I lost my family.

I sigh. Why do I still fondle on these thoughts? I do not know. Maybe my wife is right. I was blind in my work.

I should had realize that myself when I gave my eldest son a sports car on his 20th birthday to convince him drop out of the college and help me in business, instead. Looking at the luxuries I provided them with, my children happily joined me.

But it were them, their children, who had to live their own life. Out of the care of my wings. I didn’t have any problems with that, they could of course live the life they wanted, but working under other people who are my rivals? That’s absurd! Why have I earned so much? And for whom?

I feel my heartbeat rising, the vein on forehead tightening with every breath. I need to calm myself. Deep breaths.

After a minute of relaxation, the noise of chirping bird returns, a less annoying than before.

Why should I stress myself now? I almost laugh. That’s something I haven’t done for a zillion years. I take a look at the Grandpa and the girl, Karen is her name I recall, returning home with a balloon in one hand and her grandpa’s finger in the other.

I struggle to remember how my grand sons and daughters used to look and sound when we played together. A wave of guilt passes over me. I’ve never played with them.

It’s all futile now, cause I know I’ll return home with the guilt & imagining situations about how I could had stop them from leaving me & made them happy to live with their Pappy. 

I stand up, ready to leave. The birds are still chriping but now it’s a melody. Or is it just mind who’s found happiness in them? Yes, that’s what it is. Cause in the end what remains with me, is my empire, this never ending cycle of every morning and my incurable amnesia.


©The Honest Fabler

©Cover credits- Google Images.

A farewell to 2016.

Dear Santa,

Surprised I’m writing to you, now? After not writing to you last year, like everytime? To be honest, last Christmas my brother told me that you’re a figment of imagination, created to make children like me happier. I don’t feel bad for the lies honestly, nothing’s your fault. But I do have a list of complaints against you.
Last year was too much to take in. Overwhelmed with sadness, hurt and a little pinch of happiness! I hate you for taking away the people who I admired and all the dark days whole world witnessed. But I’m grateful, too, cause these events brought the whole world together. It united the farthest corners of the world and gave a common cause to each of us. To value our fellow humans.

David Bowie’s ‘Lazarus’ was the first song my brother made me listen to and I instantly fell in love with it. He passed away only after 2 days of his 69th birthday. It sucked so much to read the news on a bright morning.

Look up here, I’m in heaven

I’ve got scars that can’t be seen

I’ve got drama, can’t be stolen

Everybody knows me now.

-“Lazarus”, released 17 December 2015.

Alan Rickman, (I’m a Potterhead who’s read every Harry Potter book there’s ever been. Thanks to my brother, to lend me those from his collection.) the great actor potrayed Severus Snape so exquisitely, it was impossible to not respect his skills and love the man himself. I just started to get over David Bowie’s loss but then lost him, too.
The terrorist attacks of Tripoli, Libya where ISIS killed 300 West African migrants and the 8 martyrs who lost their life the Pathankot’s gunfight were deeply saddening.

The following months weren’t very happy for me. We came to a new city as daddy got a new job. Making new friends and leaving behind my 11 year old best friends wasn’t easy for me. Mommy had to sing me lullabies for a week to make sleep peacefully!

Muhammad Ali’s loss was another bad news in the mid-2016 but the year didn’t seem to take it easy at all as there was a mass shooting in a club of Orlando. The next day I saw people wearing rainbow flags, daddy told me it’s to support the victims, which felt good. Spider-Man has joined Avengers in the movies! Also there was an 8th Harry Potter book! And I knew that’s a wish you completed for me. It was then I thought the year isn’t completely hopeless, is it?

I got my first skateboard as a birthday gift. I fell a lot of times but daddy said that’s how we learn. So I didn’t stop learning. A week later, my favorite football team won their first huge international title. I was so happy and to add to it, my bossy brother supported the other team. When the new academic year started, it became easier to make friends. I still missed my old friends, but I kind of like my new friends, too. Especially Carlos.

This reminds me, why I’m writing to you. Carlos. He’s an orphan and now lives at a Foster’s home. We became bestfriends within the starting weeks, itself. He always likes to say funny things. Everyone likes him. On last day of school before holidays started, I told him that you aren’t real and he started laughing. I felt embarrassed and when I confessed of feeling so, he said, “That was rude, I’m sorry. I realized Santa isn’t real after my parents’ demise. Since then I never received gifts left under the Christmas tree by Santa, cause he was never the one to gift me, my parents were.” And then he smiled, a queer warm smile. One that radiated such happiness, that I had tears of joy.

I invited him over on Christmas eve and we had lots of fun. So, Santa I just want you to take away the blame for whatever hardships everyone faced and also to take the credits of the happy moments in our lives. And though now I know you don’t exist, I do know why you should.

Thank you, Santa.


Wish you all a Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays.💫

©The Honest Fabler

©Cover credits to a dear friend of mine.

Ensorcelled by juvenility.

I remember the time,
The time when I didn’t even know what is a rhyme.

I cartwheeled in the widespread field,
Oblivious to my wounds that were still unhealed.

Singing out of tune with birds creating a melody,
Who knew then the song will only be a memory.

Tying a rope to the branch I made my toy,
Warm breeze against my skin made me a happy boy.

Pamper me is all what she did, my mamma.
From one couch to the other I jumped to escape lava.

Reminiscing my childhood seems such a felony,
For I’ve an exam tomorrow and it’s all just a memory.🌸


His Last Siesta.

​Ages later we met again.

Weathered by the tides of time,

Flavoured with experiences wild.


Countless memories reminisced,

From the days we stole mangoes

To the late bleary party nights!


Everyone who we knew became

a memory, 

But you and I were never part of history.


You were the one who eased my life,

Especially when I had fought my wife.


But oh, my bosom bud, 

Parting our ways was a tough call,

Forsooth, the toughest that I recall.


If I knew this would happen

I’d never let you go.

Decades of our love now lost in vain,

For I wasn’t there to wake you from

your last siesta.

What is a religion?

Growing up in a religious family as an atheist has always been queer. But as time passed I learnt how to not offend the views of a person to whom religion & God is a source of lifestyle.

In our current time the estimated number of religions is known to be 4,300. Each of them have a different history to our beginning and different set of Gods who govern the universe. Though I’m not someone who believes or follows any religion, I’m always intrigued by them.

Think about it, the people who started religions were indeed very smart for their times. Religion was born to teach us life lessons, to literate us as to be capable to act in situations we haven’t been in but might face them in later stages of our life. 

These scholarly men, who started religions, even laid down rules and regulations for their followers to lead a life. To make sense in simple words, they made their fraternities and expanded it into a “club”. 

With time, we witnessed new intellectuals who came up with their own theories and started a new religion. The path laid out by them is quite intriguing, really. Each of the religions have a pure motive behind it. Whatever a religion may teach, their prime motive is to unite people, not divide them.

It’s a shame that some of us fail to see those motives and even use the name of religion to create havoc. I don’t suppose there’s a need to mention the names of such terrorist organisations who use the mask of religion to disguise their own wrong do-ings. For everyone knows, religions teach not to harm others.

Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge, which is power; religion gives man wisdom, which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals.                            -Martin Luther King Jr.

With this said, I do not mean to prove that one religion is above another or that believing in a God makes one old school, all I want is to make a plea towards every religious person to not misunderstand an atheist or a non-believer.

Peace out.

What paradise do you believe in?

​The world everywhere was sombre,

Still the mystical Paradise stood un-affected.

Enclosing within it calmness and protection from all the sins.

Bits of his vehemence broke with every step he took.

He didn’t stop, since he knew his only chance lay ahead of him, the Paradise.

He didn’t stop struggling through the modern desert, the work mountains and the concrete jungle, hiding as a prey from animus, envy, and malice even from the ones he thought were his allies.

He didn’t stop, since he knew no one in the grim world was selfless enough to provide a helping hand. 

He didn’t stop, because he knew his world was driven by madmen. A world blinded by avarice.

Aeons later when he reached the gateways of the Paradise, it was too late to enter. Too tiresome to take the final step, but he did make it.

The moment he entered the Paradise, the mirage blew away, no evil thought could reach his soul, no broken promise could make his heart ache nor could anyone steal his possessions.

Even the cost for this Paradise wasn’t something petty, 

For it was his life that he pledged to give in.